From You, I can withhold nothing, for you are the Creator and see all. Then You must see me crumble, and You must, too, see my country spiral into darkness. Oh God, my country is crumbling, and its promise for justice falling apart. Men who claim to do Your bidding murder our strong, compassionate, and innocent. Your message of kindness has been turned into something evil, and the innocent die. And in times like this, I wonder if they are not the ones who will triumph. Bitterly, I realize we live under the tyranny of fear. The darkness of this reality has closed my mind to everything, and broken my heart.
It is harder to be brave now than it ever was; yet it has never been plainer what we must do. I must believe we can overcome. I must believe Your gift to us, the ability to Reason and Think, will allow us to prevail in the end. We are not perfect God, but we believe in the sacredness of the Life You have given us. We work for the good of people. We sin, God, but we are not malicious. We are not evil. We do not wish violence. We know, as You say, that “We ordained for the Children of Israel that if anyone slew a person, it would be as if he slew the whole people: and if anyone saved a life it would be as if he saved the life of the whole people.”
My governor, a man full of life, a man of perpetual hope, was brutally taken away from us — all for the sake of protecting Your humanity. You, who have given mankind overwhelming challenges and watched them triumph, must see how our people suffer and sacrifice. We are in agony. You have given us a heavy cross to bear. We are not made of stone. Our hearts are heavy, and our heads are bowed. We are broken and hollow.
Yet there is a voice inside me, a sign of Your love, that refuses to let me drown in despondency. This voice knows for now I will hurt and weep, but it tells me that the day will come when we shall prevail. It tells me we will use Your word and Your gift of reason to overcome hate and cruelty. It tells me to have patience, and it tells me, as You told our Prophet (peace be upon him) to Believe.
Oh God, I believe You wish us not just to believe in You, but in the kindness of others. The road ahead is daunting, full of unknown terrors yet to befall us. The pillars of strength we once had now sit in Your shadow with You, leaving us only their work to continue. Ya Allah, please give me the strength to continue their work, please allow me the ability to pick up where the Shaheed were forced to stop. They are paradoxically missed but never gone. We have their example, and Your word of compassion to follow. We will press ahead, in time. Right now, we are hurt. But we know, the arc of history is on our side. We pray You bless us.
I believe right now, I must go home and sleep, and tomorrow we will be one day closer to a better Pakistan.